The laziest brunch

Porgie + Mr Jones

291 Auburn Road, Hawthorn

Porgie's servery

She says:
I’d been sick all week and busy at work so had been looking forward to making the most of a weekend so when I woke up at 1.30 pm (!) the other Sunday I was disappointed. Disappointed until Gerard decided that we should go grab some brunch at Porgie + Mr Jones. I was excited because I find brunch to be the least judgemental meal, it never makes you feel bad for sleeping until god knows when or leaving the house in no make up/yesterday’s clothes. I was doubly excited because Porgie + Mr Jones is probably my favourite brunch place, and not just because it is the closest place to my house that serves a pretentious selection of egg-based dishes at 3 in the afternoon.

The cafe has slowly morphed into an absolute behemoth. The first room you walk into is fun with an exposed brick, polished concrete, industrial lighting vibe, a bar against the window and a big communal table. This room tends to fill up first so I hadn’t actually eaten here in ages (maybe my issue is normally getting up at a more traditional ‘breakfast’ time and fighting with the queues). Walking through from the front you come to a couple of back rooms which have a much more homey feel. Past these rooms you get to the courtyard (which I think has been around for about a year, that or I just never noticed it before then). The courtyard here with it’s big 6-8 seat round tables with market umbrellas is one of my number one places to hang out on a sunny weekend. Somewhere in the middle there’s also a staircase which goes up to another recently-ish (I think) opened seating area.

I think one of the consequences of the cafe now seating approximately 9000 people is that it can take a long time to get your meal. Luckily ordering breakfast at 2 makes things move a lot faster (although maybe not as fast as you’d expect).  On a side note the people behind P+MJ also run Friends of Mine in Richmond and Snow Pony in Balwyn, being a little obsessed I’ve tried all three and surprise surprise like them all (food takes longer at Friends of Mine, wait for tables is shorter at Snow Pony).

I can’t say any more about this place, I love it. It may not be the single best brunch food, fit-out or service that I’ve ever come across but it rates well on everything and always makes me feel better on a Sunday morning/afternoon, no matter what happened on Saturday.

So much jam!

He says:
The closer you look at Porgie and Mr. Jones, the quirkier it gets. And the quirkier it gets, the more you’re going to love it. The name in itself, is ridiculous. I googled the word “Porgie” and I’m still no closer at being able to explain it. Is it someone’s name? Is it a kind of fish? Is it the nickname of your uncle’s special friend?  I don’t know.

The shenanigans continue with the menu. From the cheeky menu titles (“something bready…”, “something wet…”) to the footnote regarding the mindset of the chickens, everything at Porgie’s comes with well executed cheek. Walking in, you’re immediately struck by the lovely share table, illuminated by almost extinct incandescent globes, and by the foodstuffs shelved next to the door, which give it a homely feel.

The menu is brunch-centric, so be prepared for some deliciously tasty eggs. You can diverge into the lunch meals, with a steak sandwich or a risotto, but they’re more a secondary concern. The other main standout, for me at least, are the scones. Served with an entire jar of jam, you’ll have to resist the urge to dip your cream laden scone directly into the jam.  Unfortunately I could not. Marg was not impressed with my table etiquette. Until next time Porgie, until next time.

Porgie communal table

We ate:
Marg had the smashed avocado with thyme buttered mushrooms, marinated feta and torn basil on wholegrain toast ($16.90) with a side of chorizo ($4). As always it was delicious and a great brunch, it would have been a little better with some lemon and if there was some pepper handy.

Smashed avocado w/ feta, mushrooms and chorizo

Gerard had fried eggs (from “happy chickens” – $9.90) with sides of smashed avocado, chorizo and double smoked bacon ($4 each).

Fried eggs w/ avocado, bacon and chorizo

We tried to follow up lunch with a serve of the lemonade scones (normally something around $5 for 2) but because we were so late to lunch there was only one scone left so we took a half serve and thought it was probably for the best. The scones are good and we always seem to end up ordering them, people should really make scones a part of breakfast more often. Marg kind of hates paying for scones when they’re so easy to make and you can eat them hot out of the oven, but we feel like the whole jar of jam kind of makes up for it.


To Summarise (aka, the Phil)
Marg’s housemate Phil has been complaining that our blog posts are too long, so here’s the short version – Porgie + Mr Jones is a great breakfast place specialising in down-to-earth brunches, it’s well worth the trip to Hawthorn.

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